Whether it’s your first time meeting, a first date, or you’ve been together for a long time, add these behaviors to our repertoire and keep your favorite leading lady coming back for more. These are the behaviors that attract women the most. BY BECKI LEDFORD/NOV. 29, 2018 4:47 PM EDT

Attraction is a complicated, messy thing. What one person finds attractive may be revolting to another, especially when it comes to appearance (after all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder). But when it comes to attraction, the way people behave is just as important as physical appearance. Sure, we all have different deal-breakers and preferences, but it turns out that there are some behaviors that are nearly universally attractive to women

We spoke to the experts, including psychologists, relationship experts, and matchmakers, to find out which behaviors are going to attract a woman your way and which are going to send her running for the hills. Whether it’s your first time meeting, a first date, or you’ve been together for a long time, add these behaviors to our repertoire and keep your favorite leading lady coming back for more. These are the behaviors that attract women the most. 

Chivalry

They say chivalry is dead, but maybe that rarity is exactly why this old fashioned behavior is so attractive. Celebrity matchmaker Bonnie Winston told The List, “A man who is chivalrous, as evidenced by holding doors open, etc. is something that is old fashioned, but never goes out of style.” It may seem like this is something we’ve all learned from what the movies say a relationship should be like, but it turns out there’s more to it than that. 

Certified Professional Love Life Coach Lisa Concepcion revealed to The List, “On a physiological, primal level, women want to feel protected and are attracted to a man who makes them feel safe.” According to her, men also like to feel they’re being chivalrous because they’re wired to be protectors. She revealed that men like when women allow them to do things like open doors and tight jars. She continued, “Despite having evolved from the dinosaur era, we still have innate needs tied to our physiology.”

Making eye contact

In a world where most people are tied to their phones and can often be found looking straight down instead of around them, it’s easy to feel neglected or unimportant, even on a date. According to Winston, this is why making eye contact is so important and why women find it so attractive, especially these days. She revealed, “A man who makes eye contact is very sexy, in fact it’s the sexiest behavior a man can do to a woman.” 

Hear that, guys? She said the sexiest thing, so take note! There’s nothing sexier than feeling like someone is listening to you and that’s exactly what this does for women. Winston continued, “Women want to feel men are invested in them, and [making eye contact] makes them feel heard, understood and valuable.” Making eye contact is also easy to do, so put your phone away and really listen to what the woman across the table is telling you.